I’m not sure that this post will live up to the title because I’m not sure I can honestly say that I know why I haven’t really been me lately. All I know for sure is that I’ve been out of kilter and I’m determined to get back on track.
This has been a brutal year (and I mean that more in the Chinese Year sense).
- We’ve moved three times
- My husband lost his job
- We lost a very special friend to suicide
- I had another runless summer/fall
- My responsibilities changed rather significantly at work
- I started working full time again from the office after 1+ years of working from home
- I’ve flown more than 30,000 miles (travel is fun but can also be stressful)
- We purchased a house
- We started several major renovations
- I stopped drinking coffee (Don’t worry, it’s not what you think! More on this later.)
While all of these things can’t really be lumped together, I do feel buried under all of them at once. Sometimes when things in one area seem to be improving, another rears up its ugly had again. For instance, two nights ago a friend who is struggling to deal with the death of our mutual friend called in an emotional panic. It’s hard to go through your own healing while being strong for others.
I feel as though all of this plus one house disaster dragged me into a bit of a media fasting abyss (except for my random entries over at Our Corner House, it’s also what’s compelling me to push forward. Please forgive me if the nature of my posts for the next few weeks becomes more self-exploratory. I think I kinda need it.